Badguy vacation
by lozza1989
Summary: Sequel to badguy house. The Villains take a vacation to spain and cause havoc. NO FLAMES!.Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Badguy vacation

Plot: sequel to Badguy house. The Villains go on vacation to spain and cause havoc.

"Who's idea was it to go on this vacation anyway?" Voldemort asked as he lugged his suitcase along. The Villains were in the airport, catching a plane to Spain.

"Come on boaldy" Dr Evil replied "you wanted to go on this vacation too, it was your idea". Voldemort gave Dr Evil a glare. "You can talk boaldy. Anyway, I don't remember saying anything about going on vacation" Voldemort spat.

"That's because you were drunk and you came out with the idea of going on vacation" Olaf said. Voldemort scoffed. "I never get drunk".

"Yeah, then how come the other night you were staggering about with a glass of wine in your hand then, blabbering on about a vacation?" Freddy asked.

"I didn't" said Voldemort in a squeaky tone "stop accusing me".

"You know what guys, I think we should go on vacation to spain and get a tan" said Joker, imitating a drunk person and waving an invisible wine glass about. The other Villains laughed but Voldemort didn't find it amusing.

"Is it too late to turn back now?" he moaned in sarcasm.

"Yes, it is too late to turn back now" replied Olaf "the Tickets have already been bought, the flights already been booked and so has the Hotel. Come on Volders, you could do with a good tan". Voldemort looked puzzled and horrified.

"What are you suggesting?" he demanded, hands on hips "that I don't tan?".

"Well, your skins kind of pale" Dr Evil replied, not noticing Mini-me humping a screaming woman's leg. "How dare you" Voldemort spat.

"Come on, it's our turn to go through the weapon checker" Darth vader called out. Voldemort and Joker where the first in front.

"After you oh great one" said Joker, doing a bowing gesture. The others snickered.

"Oh no, you go first" replied Voldemort in sarcasm. "No, you go first, I insist" Joker replied.

"Oh no, I insist" said Voldemort."Will one of you please step through the weapon checker" the security woman said with boredom.

"He's going first" said Voldemort, giving Joker a slight push. The beeper went off.

"Sir, are you carrying any weapons?" the woman asked. "Me?" Joker asked "never". The beeping noise was still going off.

"Sir, if you're carrying any weapons, can you please remove them because we don't allow weapons to be bought beyond this point" said the bored woman. "Anything for the lady" Joker replied, giving the bored woman a wink. He got out a hand grenade, the long barrelled pistol, he didn't want to get rid of the "bang" gun.

"Sir,can you please hand over the pistol" the woman ordered. "But this ain't dangerous, see" and he pointed it at the woman and pulled the trigger. The bored woman expected a bullet but instead popped out the flag with the word Bang on it.

"Sir, we must consficate that too because people might think it's a real gun if you got it out on the plane" the fed up woman said. "Ok" Joker replied in monotone. He continued to hand over the rest of the weapons he kept hidden in his coat, a mini-bomb, a can of Smylex gas, a lethal rubber chicken, a stick of TNT, face acid, but he still had some in the flower on his shirt so the bored woman wouldn't notice, another hand grenade,the deadly feather pen, a joy-buzzer, a real pistol

About twenty more weapons later

and a another mini-bomb.

"Is that everything?" asked the bored woman. "Yeppers" Joker replied "that is everything".

"Right" said the bored woman "who's next". Voldemort was next and he gave up his wand, Darth vader gave up his light-saber, Freddy gave up his knifed-glove,Jack gave up his axe, Dr Evil, Mini-me, scar and Olaf didn't carry any weapons.

"Right, if you gentlemen like to take a seat, I'm sorry but the lion cannot come through, he'll have to go with the other animals" explained the bored woman. So Scar was going to ride underneath the plane with the other animals.

"So, how long is this flight going to here?" Voldemort. He was already fed up. "About two hours" Jack replied, looking at his watch."Oh no" sighed Voldemort, burying his face in his hands "what am I going to do for two hours?".

"Oh quit moaning you big moaner" Dr Evil said. "Shut up" Voldemort snapped "I don't even know why i bothered into going on this stupid vacation, I can't speak spanish and I hate bright places. Rather be in a cold, dark place".

Two hours later, the plane to spain finally arrived.

"Hallujah" said Voldemort in sarcasm. The baddies all got up and went to have their passports checked out.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah,good,ok,erm sir you know you arn't supposed to smile on your passport photo".

"Hey , this is a permanent grin" Joker replied, leaning close to the man checking the passports.

"I'm so sorry sir, my apologise" he replied a little nervous.

"That's a good boy" Joker said, patting the man on the forehead. "Right, all passports have been checked, go ahead and enjoy the flight". The excited baddies, except for Voldemrot who was still in a bad mood all legged it onto the plane and got seats.

This was the seating order. In the first row was Voldemort, Olaf and Jack. In the row behind was Joker, Dr evil and Mini-me who was in a baby's seat. The row behind was Darth vader and freddy.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the flight to spain, we'll be reaching up to about 2000 feet and we'll be arriving in spain in approx 3 hours, so fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the flight" spoke the captain. The villains fastened their seatbelts and the plane bgan to fly in the air.

"woah, i'm leaning backwards,WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Joker said outloud. The other passengers looked to see where that laugh was coming from. Half an hour later, they were up in the air.

"Ah, finally I can relax" sighed Voldemort,putting his hands behind his head, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. He was asleep for about ten minutes when he felt someone kick the back of his chair.

"Oh for god's sake" he said angrily. He turned around to find Joker constanly kicking the back of his chair.

"What the hell are you doing?" Voldemort demanded. "Entertaining myself" Joker replied with a big, stupid grin. He kicked Voldemort's chair again. "Can you please stop it because I'm trying to get some sleep here" snapped the bad tempered Dark lord. Joker grinned again and continued to kick the back of Voldemort's chair. He was starting to get really pissed off. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" he said "stop it now!".

"Don't want to" Joker replied then giggling. Voldemort rolled his snake-like eyes. Just then, an Air-hostess came by.

"Hey, waitress, I want some Peanuts" Joker demanded "and a drawing book". The Air-hostess nodded and she got some peanuts, a drawing book and a box of crayons.

"cheers" Joker replied, giving the air-hostess a wink. She nodded and walked off. "Now that you've got your stupid drawing book, can you please stop kicking the back of my chair?" Voldemort asked.

"Sssssssshhhhhhhh, I'm trying to draw something" Joker replied. He was drawing a picture of Batman being eaten by a shark with two heads and a picture of himself, laughing and pointing. He used his favourite coloured crayon (you guessed it) purple.

Meanwhile, a woman had mistaken Mini-me for a baby so she picked him up and starting swinging him about.

"Oh, arn't you a beautiful little baby, yes you are, yes you are". Mini-me was pissed off because he didn't like being called a baby, so he bit the woman on the nose, causing her to scream and throw mini-me to the floor."IT'S THE BABY FROM HELL" she screamed. Dr Evil cooed as mini-me climbed back into his seat. "Did the mean lady hurt my special boy?". Mini-me shook his head. Dr Evil gave the woman who threw Mini-me a dirty glare. "How dare she harm Mini-me".

Voldemort was fast asleep and he was having a happy dream. He was in a dark and mouldy room, killing Harry Potter. When Harry potter died, Voldemort sqealed in his sleep causing various passengers to look at him. Some even took photos.

"Mummy, that ugly boald guy is drooling" said a small girl, prodded Voldemort. "No Emily, stop poking that man" ordered her mother. Voldemort woke up and saw the little girl still poking him.

"WILL YOU STOP POKING ME YOU ANNOYING LITTLE BRAT" he barked. The girl wailed and ran off, causing her mother to give Voldemort a dirty glance. He folded his arms and sulked.

"I cannot wait when this vacation is over". Olaf poked him this time. "Don't you start" he hissed in fury.

"I just wanted to point out that this is a very long vacation" Olaf pointed out. Voldemort got out of his seat,dropped to his knees and shouted "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo".

"This is the captain speaking, will the ugly boald guy in the black robes please return to his seat". Voldemort sighed and got back in his seat. This was going to be one long vacation.

So, what do you think, funny, hilarious or just plain stupid. You decided but NO FLAMES!. More coming soon.


	2. The Villains arrive

The Villains arrive

For the rest of the journey, Voldemort was still in a bad mood. It soon became worse when Olaf pointed out that he booked the hotel when he got drunk.

"I cannot remember a thing about booking a hotel" Voldemort snapped. "Yeah, you went online when you were drunk and started booking the hotel after mentioning going on vacation" Olaf explained. Voldemort was shocked. "I must have been completly hammered, I cannot remember doing any of this stuff, but why didn't any of you guys cancel it all?" Voldemort asked in frustration.

"Because, I thought it would have been cool if we all took a vacation for once" olaf replied.

"But why bring me, you know I hate sunny places" Voldemort spat. "because, you could do with a holiday, so stop being a complete grump and enjoy yourself" said Olaf, patting Voldemort on the back.

Three hours later, the Villains were in spain and were booking into a Hotel named The Cool-aid Hotel.

"They named it after a drink" Dr Evil said in amusement. "So, how many beds is in our room, Voldemort?" Darth vader asked."Eight" replied Voldemort. His bad mood had disapeared. "Eight?" asked Scar in fury, he was the one in a bad mood now. "What about me?".

"You're sleeping on the floor" Voldemort said "I don't think the hotel would want your fleas on their sheets now do you?". Somehow, Scar managed to flip Voldemort off.

"Next" shouted the clerk at the front desk. Voldemort walked towards the desk and slammd his fist on it.

"I'm next" he barked "I booked a room with eight beds".

"Right" replied the clerk "Name?".

"Voldemort" Voldemort replied.

"Your first name" Ordered the clerk.

"Lord" replied Voldemort. The clerk then looked on his computer for bookings.

"Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord, ah here we go, you did book a room with eight beds, how many of you are there?" asked the clerk.

"Eight, including the lion but he's going to be sleeping on the floor" replied Voldemort.

"I'm sorry sir, but animals arn't allowed in the hotel, we can get him transferred to a zoo". Scar was cross when he heard this.

"Bad luck scar" said Voldemort giving the pissed of lion when he was dragged off to the zoo.

"You'll pay for this Voldemort" Scar screamed.

"Right sir, here's the key to your room and I hope you and your other friends enjoy your stay at Cool-aid hotel". Voldemort grabbed the key from the clerk and thanked him. The baddies were then led up to their spacious hotel room.

"Look at all the space" said Freddy in amazement. Joker giggled like an excited school girl and starting jumping on one of the beds.

"Woah, it's like bouncing on a big marshmallow trampoline" he shouted excitedly. "Alright, I'm bouncing too" yelled Olaf, kicking off his shoes and jumping on the same bed that Joker was bouncing on.

"Wil you two, stop jumping on the bed" Voldemort ordered "one of us has to sleep on that bed you know".

"That's right, me" suggested Joker as he was still bouncing. "Oh no, this is my bed" Olaf argued. Joker stopped jumping and faced Olaf.

"Oh, really olafininy?" he asked. "Yeah, this is my bed" olaf replied.

"Well, let's have a competion shall we, who ever can bounce the highest, get's the bed" Joker suggested. Olaf thought for a minute before yelling "DEAL".


	3. the first day

The first day

Later that day, the Villains all decided to hang out around the summer area.

"It's so hot here" Voldemort said. He was wearing a pair of sun glasses and a sun hat but he still had his black robes on "does it ever rain in spain?".

"Apparently" replied Darth vader, getting out a book "the rain in spain stays mainly on the plain" Voldemort snatched the book from him. "This is a poetry book you moron" he said, hitting Vader over the head with it, but it didn't hurt because he was wearing his mask thing.

"I would really apperciate it if you wouldn't do that, you'll scratch up my shiny helmet (breath)"vader replied. "Oh, you're such a drama queen" Voldemort replied. Vader bitch-slapped him. "Are you saying that I'm a girl" he boomed. "No" replied Voldemort "but I saw you unpacking some pink bunny slippers earlier" he giggled. He recieved another Bitch-slap. "LIAR" screamed Vader.

Elsewhere, Dr evil, Mini-me, Freddy and Joker were in the games room,playing twister.

"Ahh,oh,erm,right hand blue" Freddy said. Dr Evil stretched his right hand over to the blue circle. "I'm twisted in a tangle" cried Dr Evil.

"Oh shut up, I'm trying to instruct the game" Freddy spat "left foot green". Little Mini-me streched his left foot as far as it would go the green circle. The three that were playing got in so much of a tangle that they all fell down.

"God Dr Evil, how much do you weigh because you're squishing me" said Joker was Dr Evil fell on top of him. "About 20 pounds" Dr Evil replied. "God, get off me fatty and get a diet". Dr Evil nodded and pulled himself to his feet. "Riiiiiiiiight, I'm going to hang around the pinball machine, coming Mini-me?". Mini-me stood up and walked with Dr Evil to the pinball machine.

"My bets on the tiny one to win the pinball game" Joker suggested only to get a weird look from Freddy. "Are you serious?" he asked. Joker shook his head. "Me, serious? I'm never serious, that's why I'm called The Joker" and he put his face close the freddy's "and you better get over it". Freddy scoffed and walked away whilst muttering "idiot".

Meanwhile, Voldemort was having a hard time. He was being stared at by a bunch of small children.

"Why are you dressed like that, are you an emo or a goth?" a boy asked. "No, I'm an all powerfull wizard, determined to destroy the world" he replied. The Children looked amazed rather than scared."Are you doing some kind of entertainment thing for the hotel?" asked a girl. Voldemort looked dumbfounded and horrified. "No little girl, I'm for real . I'm soon going to be ruler of the world" and he stood on the table and let out an almighty evil laugh. The Children yelled and cheer.

"Oh damn, they didn't even run away or cry, I hate that" Voldemort muttered. "You're funny" said another girl whilst giggling. "I'm not funny, I'm evil" Voldemort spat to the girl. What was wrong with these kids, they should have been running away crying, not worshipping him. "Listen children, I'm kind of busy, so why don't you go and play or something" he suggested but the children wern't determined to leave him alone until one of them spotted Joker coming out of the games room.

"Look" yelled a boy " a clown". The Children left Voldemort and ran towards Joker.

"Thank god for that" sighed Voldemort "now I can relax". He had spoken too soon when a ball hit him on the face. "Sorry dude" yelled the teenager who threw the ball. Voldemort huffed and puffed. "Stupid muggle".

Meanwhile, Joker had given the children a task to do. "You see those two boaldies over there" he said, pointing over to Dr Evil and Mini-me. The children nodded. "I want you to draw on their faces" he said, giving them a marker pen. "what do you want us to draw?" asked a little girl. "Ooooh. How about a moustache, a beard, a moley mole" Joker suggested before bursting into a giggling fit. Even the children had joined in too.

"Go on then, make a fool out of those boaldies" he giggled as the children ran towards Dr Evil and Mini-me who were sunbathing. They drew a moustache,a beard and a large mole on Dr Evil's face then they drew a Naughts and crosses grid, a beard and a large mole on Mini-me's face.

Jack was at the hotel bar, singing to himself.

"I just wanna be loved, I wanna be loved,ooooooooooh I wanna be loved" he sang drunkenly before falling of the bar stool. A bunch of girls were stood nearby and they were whispering and pointing at him.

"Hello everybody" Joker called as he entered the bar before seeing Jack on the floor, still drunk.

"What happened to you?" he asked as he helped the drunken villain to his feet. "get off me, I'm mental" Jack screamed. "Too true, so am I" Joker replied. They both heard giggling behind them and a looked to find a group of Jack Nicholson fan girls, pointing and giggling at them.

"Are they laughing at us?"Jack asked.

"I think they are, I think they want us" Joker replied.

"What should we do?" Jack asked. The fan girls where walking towards them.

"We run" Joker suggested. It wasn't long before the pair of them legged it out of the bar. The fan girls wern't far behind.

Voldemort was on the sand area, making a sandcastle when a ball destroyed it.

"Arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhh,who dares detroy my sand castle that I spend ages on" he growled. A bunch of teenagers were looking guitly and Voldemort knew they were the culprits. "how dare you" he snarled at them.

Elsehwere, Jack and Joker had taken refuge in their hotel room. The fangirls were outside, waiting for them to come out.

"What do you think they want from us?" Joker asked. "Beats me, maybe they fancy us" Jack suggested. They heard giggling outside.

"Ha, I can laugh better than they can" Boasted Joker then letting out a high pitched giggle.

"Shut it you idiot" Jack hissed, clasping his hand over Joker's mouth "they can hear you". Suddenly, the door burst open and their stood the fan girls, waving at them. Jack and Joker hugged each other and screamed like girls.

Please review, please.


	4. the baddies hang out

The baddies hang out

"Hi" the fan girls said , waving. Jack and Joker were still clinging to each other who screamed and ran with the fan girls in hot pursuit. They ran through one door and the fan girls chased them through that door, then they came through another door and ran through the one opposite. The fan girls did the same. They repeated this over and over again making it look like a Scoobydoo episode.

"What do these girls want?" Joker asked. "How the hell am I supposed to know?" Jack replied as they were cornered.

"Hi you two" said the girls, waving and giggling. Darth vader came along and saw the fan girls bothering his fellow villains.

"Go away" he ordered them. When the girls saw him they squealed and ran off.

"Thanks for that Darth" Joker said. "Yeah, we owe you one" Jack added.

"Come on you two, the rest of us are hanging out in our room and we're going to fool around and make prank calls" vader announced.

"Ooooooooooooh, I'm first" Joker declared "I love making prank calls hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha".

About 1 hour later.

"Hello is that the plumbing service, yes, my pipe has burst and i've got poopoo everywhere and it's your poopoo ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha".

The other villains where rolling on the floor with laughter as Joker slammed the reciver down. Even Voldemort was having a good time.

"Ok, it's my turn" Dr Evil said, picking up the reciever and dialing a number.

"Wonder what prank he's going to pull?" Joker whispered to Darth vader.

"Hello, this is a erm Dr Avail, yes I would like to report a troupe of Fricken Idiots in my Hotel suite, yes they are and they did number twos on my bed" and he slammed the reciever down.

"I want to go again" Joker shouted, trying to grab the reciever from Dr Evil.

"You've already had your turn" Dr Evil barked.

"Aww come on, just another go" Joker pleaded.

"No" Dr Evil barked.

"But I wan..."

"Shh"

"But I...."

"Shhhh"

"Dr Evil you're really starting to...."

"shhhhhh"

But..."

"Shhh"

"Oh for goodness sake Dr Evil just let him do a prank call" Olaf sighed. Dr Evil grunted slightly and handed Joker the phone.

"Watch this guys" he announced as he dialled a number and put the phone to his ear.

"Hello, I would like to order a large pizza, yeah, it's Mr Kerr, first names Joe". The other villains were trying hard to control their giggles. "That's right, it's Joe Kerr, yeah, it's coming to the Cool aide hotel at apartment 22 on the third floor, thanks" and he slammed the phone down, laughing insanley.

"Why did you sent it to that apartment, no one is staying in there" Freddy said.

"I know" Joker replied whilst still giggling.

Meanwhile, a pizza delivery guy was banging on the door of apartment 22.

"Hello, Mr Joe Kerr, I have your pizza" he bellowed then banging on the door again.

"Why are you banging on that door, no one is staying there" shouted a man from across the hall.

"But someone from this apartemnt ordered a pizza" the delivery guy explained.

"I think you've been stitched up mate"the guy replied. The delivery guy huffed in frustration and vowed to find the one who had tricked him.

Elsewhere, the villains were getting bored with doing prank calls and decided to think of something else.

"What villainy things shall we do?" Dr Evil asked as he stretched out across the floor.

"I dunno, shall we kidnap some rich kiddies and hold them for ransom?" Joker suggested.

"Nah, i was thinking about killing them while they're asleep" Freddy said.

"No, let's go chop some people up into little pieces. I'll break down their doors, peek in a scream HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEE'S JOHNNY" Jack said.

"No no" Voldemort saod " we're going to go to the zoo that Scar was put in and we are going to break him out and sneak him back here" and with that, the villains laughed their villainy laughs.


End file.
